Dealing with Difficult People Blog

Life Lock or LoudSiren that is the question.
Comparing one thing to another is inevitable even when such a thing is LifeLock vs LoudSiren. Whether it is intended or not, evaluating one thing against the other is constantly happening. On occasion, because of this comparison, misunderstandings and even heated arguments arise. I have seen this happen recently in the identity theft market when two co-workers argued who was best LoudSiren or LifeLock. Normally I would just separate myself from such an argument but in this case I caused the “debate”. I didn’t intend to I merely asked for an opinion while having lunch because I wasn’t too familiar with either company. I just wanted to protect my credit and good name and I didn’t even know that William used this type of company. A simple question to one person set off quite the ”debate”. At least these two were comparing similar things this time, you know apples to apples, because I have to admit I have seen them argue before about things that do not have the same qualities.

Anyways this is what I learnt. Lifelock identity protection is just like many other identity theft protection companies. They are the type of company that really does all the work for their clients even though some things could be done yourself such as ordering your credit report. In order to get attention and show how confident they are in being able to protect your identity, Lifelocks CEO actually made his social security number public. This advertising worked because this is what made me notice them. LifeLock is also able to generate positive public relations for itself because they have earned many recognitions from prestigious companies. I am not positive about what these are but some awards were definitely named.

LifeLock has a ISO 27001 certification that proves that their security at company headquarters in Tempe, Arizona is the best of the best. Their investment in security makes them able to provide real protection of the private that people hand them. LifeLock is also perhaps the only company that can provide identity protection services to minors.

LoudSiren, another identity theft protection company slowly climbing the identity theft industry ladder, they are also at par with LifeLock. They can actually speed up the process of your credit requests though I don’t know how. They also put a LoudSiren Safe Number in your credit file that keeps your phone numbers private. Also, during the credit approval request process, reporting fraudulent credit requests is easy to report to law enforcers by pressing a button on your phone.

Loud SIren has a patent pending technology that offers a secure interface for financial identity protection at least when it comes to the utilization of fraud alerts. There is also an audit trail that protects you from disputes.

Both Lifelock and Loudsiren place fraud alerts for you and get you a copy of your credit report. They also remove you from junk mails and credit card lists.

To be honest I am not positive about every detail as it was difficult to capture all the points made because they were arguing. I definitely have a basis for further research and I will post my results for you in the near future.

Difficult people come in two broad categories: aggressive and passive.

Aggressive people tend to be the intimidators or know-it-alls. They may demand attention, speak loudly, and interrupt and manipulate others. They can be confrontational, pointed, and angry. They place a high value on results and decisiveness, and their drive and fast pace may discourage teamwork and create a stressful work environment.

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Managing Negativity In The Workplace: Negativists, Whiners and Complainers

“The happiest people are those who are too busy to notice whether they are or not.” William Feather

Who are the difficult or negative people in your life? Do you have to work, manage, or live with negativists, whiners and complainers? They are one of the most common difficult personalities in the workforce today. And managing workplace negativity is a skill in itself.

Believe it or not, research shows negativists, also known as whiners and complainers, have a strong need to be liked. They think that by complaining about how much work they have to do, they’ll gain empathy from others. Notice how these people often spend more time complaining than working? “Busy doing nothing” is how people describe the whiners and complainers in my leadership training workshops.

It pays to be tactfully direct whether you’re managing a whiner in the workplace, or just dealing with a difficult co-worker. For example, consider saying the following to a complainer co-worker, “Chris, I realize this is something you want to discuss, and at the same time I want to make sure I get back to work. It sounds like this sitation with so-and-so really bothers you. If I were you, I’d take it up directly with that person. Besides, I’d prefer not to get in the middle of it.” Make sure your tone is tactful and polite, yet firm. Usually these whiners and complainers will move on to a more “captive audience.”

Managing Negativity in the Workplace Means Not Allowing The Behavior To Continue.

If you’re managing a negative person, address the issue tactfully, yet promptly and directly. For example, say to them privately, “Chris, I want to bring something to your attention. You may not realize it, but when you come in here first thing at 8:00 a.m. and complain about our new policy, it’s beginning to look like a lot of negativity. I just wanted to mention it to you because you may not be aware of how you’re perceived.” They may be fully aware, explain it to them anyway!

As a manager or supervisor, you don’t want to be seen as enabling the behavior. Consider the effect it’ll have on other people if you don’t do anything about it. In managing negativity in the workplace, you have to look at the impact the difficult employee’s behavior is having on the morale of others.

If you’re managing whiners and complainers, or anyone for that matter, make certain never to criticize via email first. There is no tone or body language in an email message. The written word is often louder than the spoken word. Either meet with the employee in person, or on the phone discussing the issue with them as a live person. Don’t leave a message. As a manager or supervisor, you set the standard. If your difficult employee is going to react, better they react to YOU in person, or on the phone, as opposed to everyone else around them in the workplace. You certainly want to leave a paper trail by following up with an email, but don’t start off with email.

If you’re working with a difficult person, but not directly managing them, remember that negativists want to whine to people who will buy in to what they’re complaining, or gossiping about. When that happens, you’ve now got two individuals feeding off of each other. The people who allow the complainer to take over the conversation feel angry with themselves afterward for allowing it to happen. They sense they enabled the behavior because they’re “people pleasers” who can’t say no.

If this is you, it pays to practice role-playing with a friend who can give you honest feedback. How did you come across? Were you too tentative or too aggressive? What did your body language and tone of voice say about you? In face-to-face communication, body language accounts for 55%25 of what others believe about you. Tone of voice accounts for 38%25 and words only 7%25.

In managing negativity in the workplace, I used to tell my employees to be tactfully direct with a negative, whiner/complainer co-worker. As a manager, I certainly did speak privately with the difficult employee, but my team members also had to do their part. Be careful not to internalize everything these difficult people say to you. Most likely, there is something going on with them. As a result, they’ve decided to take it out on everyone else! And your employees have a right to come to work and enjoy it.

Consider writing your true feelings about this difficult, negative person in a journal. Make certain to leave it in your car. This is not the kind of documentation you would want them to see! When you arrive home, tear up the pages or burn them. This signals that you are not letting their behavior affect you. Because the person who constantly angers you…controls you.

by Colleen Kettenhofen

Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert, %26 co-author of “The Masters of Success,” as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. For free articles, e-newsletter, or to order the book visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Topics: leadership, success, difficult people, public speaking. Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars.
http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com

7 Ways to Deal with the Negative People in your Life
Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to
be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of negativity.

Let the Negativity Pass
Whatever you do, do not argue with a negative person. Arguing only adds fuel to the fire. A negative person will feed off any negativity that will strengthen his mood or attitude. I have noticed when my children are in a crabby mood, it is best to avoid trying to convince them to analyze and adjust their attitude. As soon as I take the approach of being in opposition with them, they seize the opportunity to prove to me that life stinks. Their negativity intensifies and the situation gets worse before it gets better. Sometimes the best thing to do is remain silent and let the negativity pass.

Negative People Need Love
You know how difficult it can be to give love and positive attention to negative people. Unfortunately, that is often exactly what they need. Deep inside that mean and critical person is a person that is usually afraid he or she is unlovable. It is
our challenge to rise above the negative attitude and love the injured person inside. How do you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is trying to tell you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, ‘You sound very angry right now’. Even if you don’t quite understand the person’s feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else’s. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows legitimate interest in her happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.

Focus on the Positive
If you try really hard, there is always something positive to be found in any situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for any gold or jewels you can emphasize. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in
negativity, it can be difficult for them to see the positive. So often my clients focus on the negative aspects of themselves. They forget about all the great things they are doing. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn’t want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her outlook.

Negativity can become a habit and habits are hard to break. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her down time, she will begin to reflect on what you have said.

Ask Negative People to Elaborate
You may hear a negative person say things like: ‘Women are fickle.’ ‘You can’t trust doctors.’ ‘My husband makes me miserable.’ These kinds of statements are a type of cognitive distortion referred to as generalizations. To help a person sort through her distorted thinking, ask for more specifics. Questions like ‘Which women are fickle?’ or ‘What specifically about your husband is making you miserable?’forces a person to evaluate what he or she is really trying to say. A negative person will either give up because it takes too much effort to explain himself, or he or she will get to the bottom of the issue.

Detach and Avoid Trying to Change the Negative Person
Learning to detach emotionally from a negative person can greatly benefit you and the other person. A negative person will fight you if you try to change them. If you want, you can try a little reverse psychology and agree with everything she says. I once read a great article about a mother who was exasperated with her son’s negative mood.
Everything she tried to soothe him and make him feel better backfired. She finally gave up and started agreeing with everything he said. When her son told her his friends were mean, she agreed with him. When he complained that his teacher didn’t know anything, she couldn’t agree more. After several minutes of this kind of dialogue with her son, his mood suddenly shifted. He declared that he was tired and he went to bed with a smile on his face.

Stay Away from Negative People
If you have negative people in your life that are critically affecting your mental and physical health, you need to evaluate whether or not you want these people in your life. Some people are so chronically negative that you have no other choice but to remove them from your life. It’s possible  to do that with friends. You can find another job if your boss or other co-workers are
bringing you down. Other people, such as children and spouses, are difficult to remove from your life. In this instance, professional counseling may be the answer. To protect your well being, you need to enforce very strong boundaries with negative people.

Keep Your Own Negative Thoughts and Behaviors in Check
If you do nothing else but focus on managing your own negative thoughts and behavior, you will come a long way towards remaining positive. A negative attitude is contagious, but a positive attitude is infectious as well. Hang out with positive people that encourage you to be your best self. Use positive affirmations to overcome negative self-talk. Express your gratitude for all the positive things in your life. Take the time everyday to watch all the beautiful things going on around you. Read inspirational material and listen to joyful music. Take care of yourself spiritually. Do whatever you have to do to remain positive and happy despite the negativity you face. The world will be a better place because of you and your attitude. And you never know, you just might help a negative person make a change to a better way of living.

by Lori Radun, CEC
Lori Radun, CEC � certified life coach for moms. To
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Part of the trouble with dealing with difficult people is the fact that they are so difficult to understand. This article gives another perspective on how to handle difficult people.
Difficult People: Understanding WHY, not WHAT
What makes another person difficult? When we don’t understand where they’re coming from. They yell at us in an argument when we want to quietly reason; or they disengage when we want to talk it out. They say they want a vacation
and then plan a full agenda while you it was sitting on a beach veging that you wanted. People don’t make sense. That makes them difficult.

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How do you cope with difficult people? Dealing with difficult people is challenging for everyone. We would love to change them, so they woudl be easy to get along with, but that is not rality. This article gives some different ways to understand and cope with difficult people
Coping With Difficult People
We work with, play with, service or are related to difficult people. Difficult people yell, explode, and try to intimidate you. If your life is free from these hostile and manipulative people, read no further. However, the probability of
encountering these people is extremely likely. Although the difficult people make up 3-5% of the population, they create over 50% of the everyday problems!

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Ok who is it that drives you crazy! Who is it that makes your stomach sink when you see them arrive. These are probably the difficult people in your life. You also may be wishing you knew how to deal with difficult people.  This article has some great ways for dealing with difficult people. It will help you get the situation into perspective.

How To Handle Difficult People. They are out there. They may either be your boss, college professor, business partner, landlord, or even your own spouse, children, siblings or parents. Anyone can be a difficult person to someone else.
You may not admit it, but at one time or another all of us have been difficult people to other people.
It is vital to see if you are in a situation with a difficult person or if you yourself are beginning to be one. The first solution to any problem is recognizing the problem.
Most times, difficult people do not realize they are difficult. They do not see that they are demanding too much from other people. They think their attitude is just normal. Likewise, some of their victims may not see that they are dealing with difficult people.

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Difficult people are often negative people, and are very hard to deal with, and not let them affect your mood or your day. This article has seven practical strategies for dealing with  negative people.

7 Ways to Deal with the Negative People in your Life

Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of negativity.

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Sometimes we feel like difficult people will drive us crazy! This article will help you keep sane. There are a number of things you need to understand about difficult people that can help you keep calm. Follow some of these strategies, and you will be able to deal more effectively with difficult people .
Dealing with Difficult People

1. Don’t get Hooked !!!

When people behave towards you in a manner that makes you feel angry, frustrated or annoyed - this is known as a Hook.

We can even become “Hooked” by the way people look, how they talk, how they smell and even by their general demeanour.

If we take the bait then we are allowing the other person to control our behaviour. This can then result in an unproductive response.

We have a choice whether we decided to get hooked or stay unhooked.

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What is the best way to deal with a person who is being difficult? We often don’t feel adequately prepared to deal with difficult people and the chaos they can cause. This article gives you seven strategies to use when dealing with difficult people.

How to Deal With Difficult People

Everyone has experienced a time when they had to deal with a difficult person. This is a form of adversity. Difficult people take different shapes whether they are argumentative, abusive, stubborn, angry, combative or a host of other negative emotions.

The question is, how can we deal with them?

In my view, angry people are screaming to be heard. They want to be valued, loved and listened to. They want to feel important but just don’t know how to do it right.

Here’s 7 things I do when in the presence of such a person:

1. Remain calm in the eye of the storm. Be still and say nothing. Let it run its course. Often times the angry person is trying to provoke you into a shouting match. It doesn’t pay to argue because it raises barriers. Remember how I handled the barber situation?

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