Dealing with Difficult People Blog

Tricky stuff, dealing with difficult people. So we avoid doing it, in the short-term, it’s way easier than confrontation. Want some examples of evasiveness?
- Leave it till the end of the day.
- Make sympathetic noises with what other people are experiencing at the hands of the person – but do little.
- Only see what they are very good at and ‘park’ the rest.
- Promote them out of your team.
- Think it’s you, not them!
…etc., etc., etc.
From their point of view, and we know there can be some real stinkers out there, they often don’t realise that their behaviour is unacceptable. This is a do-able issue – be brave at first and it will always be with you.
Some have cracked the code and the best at dealing with difficult people…
Communicate Well
They listen well and let the other party do a lot of the talking. They ask open questions and allowing a lot of space. This is a space for the difficult person.
Act Normally
When working with a ‘difficult person’, those who handle it will treat them very normally. They don’t avoid them, nor do they behave differently than they would with anyone else.
Seek to Understand
The best exponents of this skill appreciate the ‘difficult person’s’ point of view. They recognise that issues are real to them and honour that.
Behaviour is not Personal
They make sure that they treat the issue as unacceptable behaviour, not a ‘bad’ person. The ‘difficult person’ does not have a personal issue usually with those who deal with them, they are difficult with everyone!
Understand Fear
‘Difficult people’ behave the way they do usually out of some sort of fear. Through building a better relationship with them the best at Dealing with Difficult People are able to get closer to the source and hence move towards resolution.
Small Things
Sometimes they are able to find simple and easy clues to what is irritating the ‘difficult person’. And then they fairly and reasonably fix the problems – they are even able sometimes to create a champion out of a ‘difficult person’!.
Build Trust
Those best at Dealing with Difficult People develop a sense of trust with their ‘difficult person’. Often the behaviour of others will have tainted their experiences and cause serious mistrust. This can be changed.
Find a Solution
When you are very capable of Dealing with Difficult People it is sometimes the simple acts which have the most effect. Just asking them what it is they want can often be an easy solution. It’s just that no-one ever asked before!
Help Them
And often all these difficult people want is to be loved, to feel wanted, to be a part of the team again. It’s a natural emotion which works in the favour of those exponents who do a great job here. They know that emotional buy-in is a great way forward.
Recognise Qualities
Every employee is a valuable asset, whatever they are like. Sometimes the most irritating and vociferous are the best to have on the team – they are energised.
And the very, very best in Dealing with Difficult People are able to turn their people around and enlist them as a strong advocate of their organisation. Instead of fighting inside they take on the competition!
The first step, trust me, is the worst!
by Martin Haworth
(c) 2007
Coaching Businesses To Success. Martin Haworth is a Business and
Management Coach. For a free e-course contact cbts01@aweber.com. More? There are hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com/

Working with difficult people every day can be very trying and challenging. Here are some tips to help you deal with difficult colleagues.
4 Ways to Cope with Difficult Colleagues

Do you find yourself having to deal with a difficult person in your office? Do you feel that they are overbearing and don’t know when to keep their opinions to themselves? Do they make inappropriate comments in a professional environment?

In my previous jobs, which I’d rather not mention, I had to deal with these types of personalities. At times, I would think to myself, “If I could only talk to them.” or “I wish I could quit!”

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Do you know anyone at work who is difficult to deal with? What about the person who has a big ego. This article gives advice on how to deal with this type of difficult person in the workplace
How To Deal With Difficult People: Egos At Work

In discussions about dealing with difficult people at work, a phrase often heard is ‘big ego’ or ‘his ego gets in the way’. Of course, those complaining always mean other people’s egos, never their own! In any case, how can you deal with it?
The first question is, how do you know it’s an ego problem? And the answer is that you don’t. We tend to speculate about the reasons for people’s behavior, and we’re quite often wrong.

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Managing relationships in the workplace is the key to success. Whether you are in management or are an employee, learning how to co-exist in the same workplace with others can make or break your career. This includes working with
difficult people. They can be annoying, rude and disruptive and can make us angry and frustrated. The real challenge then, is to work effectively with them and encourage them to express their positive attributes. But how is this done?

How does one get past the annoyances? I believe that answer comes from within ourselves.
Our responses to difficult people is the result of how we view the world and interpret their words and actions. This view may not be accurate but it is our opinion. This, then shapes our responses and is a reflection of how we interpret the world. When this does not make sense to us, because it is not how we would have behaved, it annoys us. What we must do is examine our own emotions and interpretations and those of difficult people. What are all the reasons for a person’s response? If we can try to understand their perspective, they will become less annoying to us.
We utilize many different skills when we interpret others. Both verbal and non-verbal cues give context in forming our opinions. We interpret each other’s intentions and believe our opinion to be correct when it may be very far from
the truth. For example, we interpret a difficult person’s behavior as threatening and we become defensive and angry too. We may even misinterpret the other person by misreading their body language and mood.
Difficult people may be responding defensively based on their own emotional interpretations. They may be frustrated, worried or scared. In addition, they may also be misinterpreting your actions!
Use the following tips to guide you in dealing with difficult people.

- Begin each interaction with an open mind
- Approach each conversation as a challenge to remain calm and try to understand what the other person is trying to communicate. It will allow them to drop their defenses and communicate in a more pleasant manner.
- Give the difficult person two choices. This will allow them to feel in control and you will maintain control yourself.
- Acting confidently will calm the difficult person down.
- Use non-threatening body language.
- Your mood is contagious. Others will adjust their emotional state to align with yours.
Learning to get along with difficult people will set the tone in your workplace. Even difficult people can have caring hearts. If we only discover that part within them, we can communicate better and not be so threatened by them. Others will follow your example and will ultimately reflect the bottom line performance of your business.
by Ann Lewis

Ann Lewis, CTA-CC Expert Author and Owner Simply Life Travel http://www.simplylifetravel.vacationmedia.net/”
Own your own home based online Travel Business. Our business partner is Travelocity & our patented Compensation plan is excellent! Our prices are competitive and would like you book your travel with us. We would love EARN your business!

Getting along with your co-workers is critical to your happiness and success at work. You may find yourself spending more time with your co-workers than with your spouse and family. Each individual in an organization is just a small cog in a big wheel. Without the assistance of co-workers, you will find your assignments much more difficult.

The first step toward getting the assistance of your co-workers is to accept others uniqueness and idiosyncrasies. People come from many different national origins, races, genders, and ages. Corporate America calls this ‘diversity’.

You may think an individual with a different race or national origin is peculiar or has strange habits. I find that all people, regardless of race, national origin, gender, or age, want the same things. All people want a safe place to live and employment that gives them the ability to provide for themselves and their family. What a boring world this would be if we all dressed the same, acted the same, and had the same ideas.

If you have an attitude of discrimination against a co-worker because of their national origin, race, gender,
or age, I’m not going to try to change your mind. I WILL advise you that if you want to succeed at work, you better
at least act like you are on the diversity bandwagon.

The real difficulty in relating to fellow employees comes from differences in emotional maturity, intelligence, and level of dedication to the job. Emotionally immature people may not want to cooperate with you because they feel threatened. They feel that if they help you or reveal any aspect of their job function they may lose job security.

Other symptoms of emotional immaturity are the inability to accept criticism, feeling that the company should do things the way that makes THEIR job the easiest, and just plain bossiness. Other people’s emotional maturity is one of the most difficult things to deal with on the job.

It’s also difficult to deal with co-workers who don’t have, or don’t want to have, the intelligence required to do the job. Sometimes people fain ignorance in order to avoid work or responsibility. Sometimes an individual is in a job position that they are not suited for.

Your job may provide your life with meaning and purpose. Professionalism and pride in your work may be important to
you. But don’t expect everyone to have those same values. Some people are more focused on friends, family, or other
preoccupations outside of work. They come to work only for the paycheck. They want to make the least amount of effort
required to get the paycheck.

Your happiness and success at work requires you to accept and embrace the uniqueness of other individuals. You need
to form good relationships with any co-worker whose cooperation you need in order to perform your tasks. The best way to do that is to care about them. Engage in small talk and learn what their interests are and what motivates
them. Approach them with an optimistic attitude, praise, and compliments. People gravitate towards other people who
make them feel good.

You must impress upon them that you are not a threat. You will not criticize them, nor threaten their job security. Help them understand that cooperation would be mutually advantageous. Let others in the company compete and vie
against one another, while you team up with your co-workers for your mutual success at work.

by Bucaro TecHelp
Copyright(C)2004 Bucaro TecHelp. To learn how to maintain your computer and use it more effectively to design a Web
site and make money on the Web visit techelp.com To subscribe to Bucaro TecHelp Newsletter visit
http://bucarotechelp.com/search/subscribe.asp

57% of Managers Time is Spent Dealing With Difficult Staff

Announcing Ways To Deal With Difficult Staff.

As a manager, how do you deal with difficult staff?

How much of your management time is spent unwisely with difficult staff?

Would you like to know the secrets of easily managing your problem staff?

Well this is what it takes.

Every business and department has them – problem staff who use up a great deal of a managers time
and energy trying to achieve better performance and results.

A few years ago, it was easy to rectify the problem, just terminate the employee and get on
with business. In today’s business world, employment laws have become much more
employee friendly which has increased the challenges to managers as to how to
deal with these individuals.

So how does a manager handle such staff effectively to achieve a win / win resolution? Unfortunately most managers focus
all their efforts in trying to get rid of the problem rather than taking a step
back and planning a strategy to give the staff a chance to become an asset to the business/department.

In order to deal with a problem employee it is important to be able to pinpoint where the true problem lies. The good news is
that managers only need to focus on three areas to find the answer.

As a manager, if you follow these three areas in order, you will find where you will
need to focus your efforts to turn your problem employee into a productive member of your team.

The first area to look at is training and development. Has the employee been trained and developed properly? Does he or
she know what is expected of them? Was their training and development period adequate? Do they perform their duties within the guidelines set forth by the business/department?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions then training and development is not the issue, then you need to move to the
next area. On the other hand if you answer no to any of the above, it is time to set aside some time to re-train the individual.

The second area is the environment. Is there something in the employees work environment that may be
affecting their performance? There may be a possibility that the employee may have developed an allergy to the equipment they work with, or there may be something in the air that is causing the employee problems getting the job done.
Or they don’t have the space, correct chair, tools to perform their role.

If the environment is the cause of the problem it may be in the managers best interest to try to find an alternate job within the company that will provide a better climate for the employee to work in. Or provide them with the appropriate tools in order to complete their role.

If the environmentis not the problem then the only other option is the staff’s behaviour. This is by far the most difficult to deal with as people in general get very defensive and offended when they are being talked to about their conduct.

When speaking with an employee about their behaviour it is important to be up front
with the issue. There is no reason to beat around the bush. You have to ask
questions and let the employee say everything they have to say. The employee may
have personal problems that are affecting their duties; they may hate the job or
are having problems with someone they work with.

Once you have found the root of the problem then it is important to offer solutions. It may be
counselling, a mediated meeting with another employee, or maybe the offer of a
leave of absence from work to get their affairs in order.

Once the discussion has neared the end you must inform the employee of your expectations
as their direct report and how they are expected to behave at work.

By following the above steps you as a manager will be able to improve performance and production from the most difficult member of staff.

A Last Word…

One of the biggest fears in being a manager is dealing with difficult staff. It’s not easy but don’t put it off – deal with it as soon as possible after you see a dip in the staff member’s performance. Make sure you are seen as the manager who deals with difficult staff effectively and efficiently.

by Andrew Rondeau
Andrew Rondeau is a leading Management &
Leadership Strategist and offers Management/Leadership Mentoring and Coaching
Services.

Andrew is also the author of several ground breaking e-Books
including ‘Accelerate Your Management Effectiveness’, ‘How To Get A Standing
Ovation Every Time You Publicly Present’ and ‘Learn The Secrets Of Time
Management

http://www.andrewrondeau.co.uk

http://www.acceleratedmanagementsystem.com

Do you have to deal with a difficult person at work? How many days, weeks,months, and years before they or you retire? Dealing with a difficult person every day at work can be very stressful. This article has some tips and advice for dealing with difficult people in the work place.
Staff Infection: How To Treat Difficult People

My late grandmother used to say; “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I guess it was her old world way of declaring that if you’re nice to people, they’ll be nice to you.

But would her meaning also include the not so nice people at work? They’re the ones that are as familiar to you (I’m sure) as the flies were to my grandmother. Will the same approach work with those individuals?

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