Dealing with Difficult People Blog

Difficult people come in two broad categories: aggressive and passive.

Aggressive people tend to be the intimidators or know-it-alls. They may demand attention, speak loudly, and interrupt and manipulate others. They can be confrontational, pointed, and angry. They place a high value on results and decisiveness, and their drive and fast pace may discourage teamwork and create a stressful work environment.

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You love them, but your personalities just don’t mesh. You frequently argue or get frustrated with each other.

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Getting along with your co-workers is critical to your happiness and success at work. You may find yourself spending more time with your co-workers than with your spouse and family. Each individual in an organization is just a small cog in a big wheel. Without the assistance of co-workers, you will find your assignments much more difficult.

The first step toward getting the assistance of your co-workers is to accept others uniqueness and idiosyncrasies. People come from many different national origins, races, genders, and ages. Corporate America calls this ‘diversity’.

You may think an individual with a different race or national origin is peculiar or has strange habits. I find that all people, regardless of race, national origin, gender, or age, want the same things. All people want a safe place to live and employment that gives them the ability to provide for themselves and their family. What a boring world this would be if we all dressed the same, acted the same, and had the same ideas.

If you have an attitude of discrimination against a co-worker because of their national origin, race, gender,
or age, I’m not going to try to change your mind. I WILL advise you that if you want to succeed at work, you better
at least act like you are on the diversity bandwagon.

The real difficulty in relating to fellow employees comes from differences in emotional maturity, intelligence, and level of dedication to the job. Emotionally immature people may not want to cooperate with you because they feel threatened. They feel that if they help you or reveal any aspect of their job function they may lose job security.

Other symptoms of emotional immaturity are the inability to accept criticism, feeling that the company should do things the way that makes THEIR job the easiest, and just plain bossiness. Other people’s emotional maturity is one of the most difficult things to deal with on the job.

It’s also difficult to deal with co-workers who don’t have, or don’t want to have, the intelligence required to do the job. Sometimes people fain ignorance in order to avoid work or responsibility. Sometimes an individual is in a job position that they are not suited for.

Your job may provide your life with meaning and purpose. Professionalism and pride in your work may be important to
you. But don’t expect everyone to have those same values. Some people are more focused on friends, family, or other
preoccupations outside of work. They come to work only for the paycheck. They want to make the least amount of effort
required to get the paycheck.

Your happiness and success at work requires you to accept and embrace the uniqueness of other individuals. You need
to form good relationships with any co-worker whose cooperation you need in order to perform your tasks. The best way to do that is to care about them. Engage in small talk and learn what their interests are and what motivates
them. Approach them with an optimistic attitude, praise, and compliments. People gravitate towards other people who
make them feel good.

You must impress upon them that you are not a threat. You will not criticize them, nor threaten their job security. Help them understand that cooperation would be mutually advantageous. Let others in the company compete and vie
against one another, while you team up with your co-workers for your mutual success at work.

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How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People
The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is regarded as a self help classic. Have you read it?
I read it many years ago and I was disappointed by the content of this book that has helped a lot of people take control of their fears. Why? Because I believe we all have the power to go far beyond feeling the fear. And I really think it is important to learn how to transform fear into courage by learning how to use more of your mind and how to take charge of your emotions.

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7 Tips for Resolving Conflicts

I read a blog post recently called 7 Tips for Resolving Conflicts Quickly and Peacefully written by Stephen Hopson

Out of the seven tips he gives the most important one to me was the first one
- Keep Calm

That sounds so easy, but in practice is not. Once you have lost your cool, you are incapable of really doing the rest on the list.

One of the best ways to keep calm is firstly to breathe! Don’t forget to breathe!! However the aspect of breathing is the thing that makes the difference- breathing deeply.

Breathe in through the nose to the count of 5, and out through the mouth to the count of 7. This will get additional oxygen to your brain to enable you to think clearly, and will give you a few precious moments to do the next part of keeping yourself calm - to control your self talk.

At the moment we start to lose our cool, out thoughts become irrational, as they are fueled by our emotion. To save yourself going downhill with those thoughts, you need to re affirm positive self talk, and get the situation into its proper perspective. When faced with a difficult person, our greatest temptation is to take it personally. At that point the chances are that we will respond to the person in a way that makes us also a difficult person!

Learning to Deal With Difficult People
BOTTOM LINE:

Difficult people can make your work day less enjoyable. With the right strategies, you can learn to deal with them effectively.

If you have to work with difficult people every day, you probably dread going to work each morning. What’s more, you might get so stressed that you can’t concentrate on the job.

Have you ever wondered why some people are difficult to work with?

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